


Hand of the Mighty

by queen_egotist



Series: The Mighty Red Manicured Pimp Hand [1]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, I miss writing crack!, M/M, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Omniscient, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 12:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2025711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_egotist/pseuds/queen_egotist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pimp Yoochun went to his favorite strip club and his BFF dropped hints about a heavenly ass stripper. When he saw him dance his ass out of heaven, the pimp decided to use every power on his PIMP hand to get the heavenly ass. However, strange events turned this plot upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hand of the Mighty

Title: The Mighty Red Manicured Pimp Hand  
Author:[](http://egoisticfreak.livejournal.com/profile)[ **egoisticfreak**](http://egoisticfreak.livejournal.com/)  


  
Paring: YooSu, JaeHo + Min  
Genre: Crack  
Chapter: 1/20  
Beta:[](http://lady-shira32.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lady-shira32.livejournal.com/) **lady_shira32**  
Summary: Pimp Yoochun went to his favorite strip club and his BFF dropped hints about a heavenly ass stripper. When he saw him dance his ass out of heaven, the pimp decided to use every power on his PIMP hand to get the heavenly ass. However, strange events turned this plot upside down.

 

  


Chapter 1: Hand of the Mighty

Park Yoochun is a pimp. Yes, you heard that right. He is a fuckin’ pimp. With a fuckin’ pimp hand to back it up and an overly irresistible hip-thrust that will make your hairless vagina wet and your clit twitch. “Oh, Fuck…. You own me!!” Well, this is too much for the pimp’s introduction. On to the main reason why the fuck he is being mentioned in the first place. Okay, he is a fuckin’ pimp who owns three five-star hotels and six nightclubs in fuckin’ Las Vegas. Oh yeah, the City of Sin is the turf of the mighty pimp hand. He is your typical pimp who has money, bitches who would gladly open their legs for him and cars to die for. At the age of 23, he is a fuckin’ rich kid who likes to make every mortal want to be PIMPED by this fucking bastard. Oh yeah, he is a fuckin’ bastard.

Moving on, Park Yoochun is usually bored after a day’s work (managing his empire to pimpify the bitches in his clubs never fails to suck a little bit of his pimp powah, but it soon goes back up to optimum level with just a touch of his pimp cane.) When a person is touched by the pimp hand, it is not a miracle or magic, it is just the PIMP working its mysterious powers to exorcise the fuckin’ simplicity in humanity. Going back to our pimp’s personality, he is usually bored and goes to Maze every night. The MAZE is the real SHIZ! It’s the most luxurious strip club in Vegas. Here you will find not one, not two, but 789834 sexy, wet and hot strippers… Every fuckin’ stripper is perfect. This MAZE club that the pimp hand usually frequents is owned by the flamboyantly gorgeous wannabe pimp by the name of Kim Jaejoong, Yoochun’s BFF and so-called soul mate. He established this bastard place a year ago and it rose up the charts as the most popular underground strip club EVER!

The PIMP a.k.a. Park Yoochun got out of his fuckin’ shiny black Ferrari and handed the keys to the valet who was gaping at the awesomeness of his pimphand. After he fixed the crease on his jacket, another peasant approached him and escorted the mighty pimp to his favorite place: The VIP room. (Would you have expected anything less?) The room exudes a strong Jaejoong-ness air: alcohol, smoke, sweet perfume (overly ghei perfume, if I may add), fur-lined couches, purple walls, and of course the ever famous dim lights. The balcony is where the pimp can hang out and look down at the low-life mortals from his sparkling pedestal. Sometimes, he will check out the strippers, but even though everyone is soooooooo hot, no one seems to grab his attention. Even the GHEILORD Yunho can’t catch the eye of the PIMP.

While Yoochun was in the middle of his musings, a waitress wiggled her nicely shaped derriere upon entering the room and asked for Yoochun’s order. “The usual, babe.” he said, using his orgasmic greasy voice. The waitress giggled and nodded in response. She then went out of the VIP room. Yoochun smiled and thought she will be a PIMPED bitch next time. He smiled like an idiot thinking about how to position her on his king-sized bed AND on his leather couch. After a few moments the said waitress came back with a bottle of Cuervo and a shot glass. He gave her a chun-smile face and asked, “Babe, what’s your name?”

The bitch’s face flushed red and bowed, “Mae, sir. My name is Mae.” Then she turned around and went out of the room. The smirk didn’t vanish and he had a shot of his favorite drink.

As he was going through his sixth shot with Britney Spear’s Womanizer saturating his pimpish ears, the door opened magnificently and a blinding beam of light flashed before his eyes. His BFF Jaejoong. He was wearing a black coat with purple fur on the collars and at the end of his sleeves. His perfectly sculpted torso sparkled with body glitters.

“Good evening Pimp!” said the BFF enthusiastically (In Jaejoong terms, that meant, gheily.)

“Good evening, whore,” replied the pimp as he went to his seventh shot while admiring the godly being that entered the VIP room.

“Oh, you’re so sweet… oh well… have you heard about the latest addition to my collection?” said the flashy Jaejoong.

“Your collection of gorgeous strippers? Where the hell do you get that, asshole? You know I don’t like it when you go hiring bitches without having to pass through the Almighty Pimp Hand!!”, Yoochun exclaimed pimpishly.

“Do you even own the fuckin’ place? Hell, you called him an asshole. Well you’re god damn right. He has a VERY nice ass….”Jaejoong was cut off when his cellphone rang. He answered it and the godly gay face turned red and became the angry gay face with the words, “WHAT?!?! YUNHO IS SICK!?! MY CLUB’S STAR STRIPPER IS SICK!! HOW CAN THAT FUCKIN’ BE? GEEZ…” and Jaejoong went on and on and Yoochun got tired of listening to his BFF’s flails and screams, so he continued to drink his beloved Cuervo.

Once the conversation was over, Jaejoong mumbled to himself, “I better call him to work for tonight.”

Yoochun heard his mumble, “Who will you call?”

“The one I’ve been talking about awhile ago. The _new addition_ to my collection,” Jaejoong replied.

“I still don’t agree on that matter.” Yoochun said as Jaejoong cocked an eyebrow. “FYI pimp, this ass was discovered by Changmin, the greatest and most perverted of all managers here in Vegas. Besides, you haven’t seen him because he worked for LINE club before, the arch enemy of my fabulous MAZE. This guy can be compared to Ho, but I still think Ho’s dance is still the gayest shit ever. Also, his face is that of a fuckin’ angel and hell!” Jaejoong shook his head dramatically, face in his hands, “the ass sure is heaven.”

Yoochun quirked an eyebrow. “Heaven, huh?”

“Yeah, heaven. Heaven as in fluffy and squishy as the clouds. When he performs, everybody becomes a frat boy and turns into a messy horny pile. He brings the atmosphere of sexy dancing on to the next level. Hmm…. Like it’s “HEAVEN FALLS ON EARTH’… and everybody was, like, lusting the hell after him.”

Yoochun was speechless. “Who the hell is that ass?” If Jaejoong describes him like that, he better see it for himself.  
  
~~~  
  
Reposting this shiz is too tiresome but I liked it though...XDXD  
  
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